Alice Solomon
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*Dating
After 50* *Finding Love After 50*
*Date, Mate, and Age with Style*
featuring the book, Find
the Love of Your Life After 50!
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Hello, and welcome to FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AFTER 50! It is my pleasure to share with you what I have learned through research, experience, interaction with readers of my newspaper columns, and at speaking engagements before numerous women’s groups, about venturing out into the single world and experiencing the lumps and bumps of dating after fifty.
As you scroll down this page, you will read about the book's focus, content, reviews, a conversation with me, an excerpt, and its value on Amazon.
Best of all, my compliments to you on how wise you are to read about the new world of dating as you begin again.
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Finding romance at
a later stage in life can be incredibly elusive.
When a single woman over fifty, who bring many
years of experience in As much as we hate to admit it, most of us were brought up to see ourselves through the eyes of the man with whom we were connected. How do we see ourselves now? How solid is our confidence, our courage, our self-image, our self-esteem? And, dating again? Memories of those experiences faded with poodle skirts and bobby socks. Not that memories will help. It is a very new, single world with varied and different expectations - not only on our part but also on the part of the men we meet. Beginning to date again and knowing how to behave is, oftentimes, fearful, bewildering, and challenging. FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AFTER 50! focuses on the importance of renewing self-confidence while it resolves those issues important to dating and mating at this stage in our lives: how to improve on attitude and adaptability; where to meet men graciously; how to go about dating with dignity; whether sex is as important now as it was in the past; how to overcome feelings of rejection, and more. Offering true life stories, guidelines, tests, and self-help quizzes, this book will motivate, educate, and encourage a totally new and positive attitude about dating. Bottom line conclusion -- do not seek the life in the dating scene; use the dating scene to find the love of your life. What does it take, then, to find a companion, a pal, a lover, a mate at this stage in our lives? It takes acknowledging that dating is different from years past. It takes summoning courage and taking risks. It takes the right timing. It takes being adaptable. It takes being realistic, being creative, and educating yourself. It takes looking good. It takes avoiding married men! And, at the very least, it takes knowing the best places to meet men. What a task, you might say? Not really. It’s easier than you think. Join me and FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AFTER 50! to learn how you can bring love, romance, and companionship into her life once more. |
living with her,
ventures out to seek a companion for pleasurable
years ahead, she faces a changed and unfamiliar TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION:
Romance for Gorgeous Grandmas
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Dating is Different at This Age |
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Get Out and About to Meet Men |
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Take Your Face Into Cyberspace |
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Looking Great Will Attract a Date |
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Be Adaptable and Risk New Adventures |
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Get Real About the Man You Want |
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Assert and Flirt to Meet Men |
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Don't Waste Time On a Married Man |
CONCLUSION:
This Insider's Point of View
Appendix A: More Self-Help Quizzes
Appendix B: Education Vacations for
Gorgeous Grandmas
Appendix C: Travel Companion and Travel for Singles
Travel Agencies
Appendix D: Travel Newsletters
Appendix E: Civic Associations
Appendix F: Sports Associations
Appendix G: Adventure Camps and Organizations
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BOOK REVIEW (Posted on Amazon.com)
***** A no-nonsense survey of what
makes dating after 50 different, March 7, 2004
Reviewer: Midwest Book Review (see more about me) from Oregon,
WI USA Find The
Love Of Your Life After 50! by Alice Solomon is an
invaluable and thoroughly "user friendly"
self-help guide to the singles scene for women over
fifty. From the advantages of computer dating; to a
no-nonsense survey of what makes dating after 50
different; to the type of man one is most compatible
with; to where to meet single men who would have an
interest in older women, and so much more, Find The Love
Of Your Life After 50! is an excellent primer embodying
both the romantic and the practical.
BOOK REVIEW (Posted on Barnes & Noble.com)
by Deb Jones of
RoundTableReviews.com
Don’t let the title of the book fool you: FIND THE
LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AFTER 50! This book is for women of any
age, and for men as well, if they’d like some
insight into the female mind and heart. For the younger
set, the whole idea of the book may seem silly…but
life does NOT end at thirty…and women and men in the
fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth decades of their lives
have emotional and sexual needs as do their younger
counterparts. Alice Solomon has written a very sensible
and insightful book about a long-ignored sector of the
dating population.
In this book written to and for “Gorgeous
Grandmas,” Solomon addresses issues such as how
dating and relationships differ at this life stage than
in younger years. Skin care is discussed as well as the
importance of good grooming, and makeup for the mid-life
woman. Realistic and varied places are presented for
consideration of meeting new people, as well as prompts
to remain open-minded and non-judgmental when doing so.
Because people who are meeting one another at this point
in their lives are not looking to marry in order to raise
a family, it is pointed out that readers should reflect
on what lifestyle changes they are willing to
make…and those that they are not. There are multiple
self-help quizzes to aid the reader in her quest to make
the most of this portion of her dating life.
Alice Solomon writes from personal experience, as well as
that of her friends and readers and listeners to both her
syndicated newspaper column in the MetroWest Daily News
and as a co-host of a daily show on radio station WPBI-AM
in Palm Beach County, Florida. The book is written in a
clear and flowing style, easy-to-read and unpretentious.
Reading FINDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AFTER 50! is like
having great conversations with a well-informed friend.
A Conversation with
Alice Solomon
1. What is
a “Gorgeous Grandma” and how does somebody
become one?
- A Gorgeous Grandma is any woman
over 50 who truly believes she has the rest of her life
ahead of her, not behind her. A single woman becomes a
Gorgeous Grandma when she has a zest for life again.
Unfortunately, some divorcees and widows feel sorry for
themselves much too long, have low self-esteem, and are
unrealistic.
2. The
rules of dating have changed drastically since Gorgeous
Grandmas first started dating in the 1950's. What advice
do you have for women considering a sexual relationship
with their new boyfriends?
- Too many times, women jump into bed with a man at the
first opportunity because they are hungry for a hug, for
warmth, for intimacy. Don’t. Take your time. It has
nothing to do with his respect for you as we used to
think in the past. It has to do with your heart taking
over, not your head. Get to know the man first.
Oftentimes, it means merely “sport sex” for the
man, while you could become more deeply involved. If he
truly wants to be your special person, he will give you
all the time in the world before you decide to be
intimate with him.
3. Children
from previous relationships often times have mixed
feelings about their parents entering the dating world.
How should one deal with children’s agendas and
concerns?
- It’s best not to say one word to the kids until
you are really serious about a commitment. Children can
oftentimes make oodles of trouble when a new man appears.
Cross each bridge as it happens (and it will if there is
inheritance money involved). Any problems, talk to your
clergy or a dear friend. If you are sure your kids have
nothing but your best interest at heart, do listen to
them. They may be telling you something about the man
important enough to hear.
4.
You’re an advocate of seniors exploring the internet
for love. Why do you favor this approach? Are there any
warning signs women should be aware of when looking for
love in cyberspace?
-Internet dating sites are terrific because they’re
the best way to meet the most men in the shortest period
of time. Men are online because they know it’s the
best way to meet an abundance of women and I urge
Gorgeous Grandmas to go where the men are! A lot of men
pride themselves on being techies – even the 80 year
olds – and if a gal wants to start dating again, her
best bet is with an internet dating service. Do, though,
take precautions online. Do not give out your address or
phone number and do not chat for long – the
intention is to meet the man offline, and only for a
short time at first. Do not divulge personal information
and be sure to tell a friend where you are meeting him.
Be doubly cautious of men covertly looking just for sex
and of married men. About age and photos depicting them
younger – that’s not really important. You may
have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince
and the abundance of men on the internet offers you that
opportunity, bigtime!
5. Being
single in a world full of couples is hard at any age.
Where can single seniors go to find some fun and
companionship?
There are lots of places in your community or in a
community nearby. The secret is to get out and about to
all kinds of events, for singles or otherwise. Check the
newspaper daily for: bookstore events, church-sponsored
events, museums, opera, symphony, sporting events, art
gallery openings, travel clubs, continuing education
courses, learning a new sport or hobby. Each month, fill
your calendar with all the events to begin with. Then
selectively choose one or two a week to attend– and
go!
6. You say
it’s important to recognize that your former life is
over and a new one needs to begin. What do you mean by
this?
- I am not
suggesting that women forget their past and their
friends. I am urging our Gorgeous Grandmas to form new
friendships that suit their current single lifestyle so
that they will have a better social life. I did a great
disservice to myself by clinging to old friendships,
hoping that the stability and the security of old friends
would shelter me from the work it takes to find new ones.
I was wrong. It took me an unusually long time to accept
and be comfortable with being single. Please don’t
let it happen to you.
7. Sex appeal is important in a relationship,
regardless of age. What tips do you have for older women
on how to be sexy, yet age-appropriate?
- I think most
women exhibit an inborn sensuality when stimulated by an
interesting man, regardless of age. However, a mature
woman can be very appealing because of her confidence,
worldly experience, wisdom, and( if she is smart) her
contemporary, well-groomed appearance. Warmth,
friendliness, charm, body language – they, too, all
add to the appeal. But, isn’t sex appeal in the eyes
of the beholder and doesn’t each man have a
different opinion? I asked some male friends over the
dinner table one night, “What about an older woman
do you think is sexy?” One man said “big
boobs;’ another said, “the look in her
eyes;” a third said, “her shape, if she has
one.” The fourth said,” absolutely
nothing.” (That’s the last time he gets invited
to dinner.)
8. Is there such a thing as the perfect man? What
type of expectations should older women have when it
comes to the men they date?
- Mr. Perfect does
not exist. I urge all the women at my seminars to take
that mega-list of criteria for their dream man and dump
it! Statistics prove that the single male population
diminishes as we age. When our list of
“must-haves” decreases, our choice of men
increases. Anywhere from three to five
“must-haves” is plenty. And stop with the
height, weight, and amount of hair a fellow should have.
I don’t want you to be alone for the rest of your
life!
9. Should a
Gorgeous Grandma date a younger man? What are the risks
and benefits to this type of a relationship?
- More power to any
woman who can date and pair up with a younger man. The
biggest risk I have observed is that he may be after her
money. If the age difference is great, he might have a
tendency to roam. Too, there are different tastes in
music, entertainment, and mores. Aside from those, the
benefits are many. Compared to a retiree, he would have
more sexual stamina, be more intellectually stimulating,
still be working when his partner is on social security,
and the percentages of his of dying before her are less.
Pairing up with an older woman has its advantages for a
younger man, also. Older women are more monogamous; more
sexually inventive to keep the intrigue alive; and more
giving in general. If a woman gets the opportunity to
pair up with a younger man, I say - You Go, Girl!
To download an excerpt,
please click here.
The excerpt
is available in Adobe pdf format. If you do not have
Adobe Acrobat Reader 5.0, you may click below to obtain a
free copy, then download the excerpt.
.
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